Debbie: Don’t write it, Father. Just say it. The first time you fell in love. What?
Henry: It’s to do with knowing and being known. I remember how it stopped seeming odd that in biblical Greek knowing was used for making love. Whosit knew so-and-so. Carnal knowledge. It’s what lovers trust each other with. Knowledge of each other, not of the flesh but through the flesh, knowledge of self, the real him, the real her, in extremist, the mask slipped from the face. Every other version of oneself is on offer to the public. We share our vivacity, grief, sulks, anger, joy…we hand it out to anybody who happens to be standing around, to friends and family with a momentary sense of indecency perhaps, to strangers without hesitation. Our lovers share us with the passing trade. but in pairs we insist that we give ourselves to each other. What selves? What’s left? What else is there that hasn’t been dealt out like a deck of cards? Carnal knowledge. Personal, final, uncompromised. Knowing, being known. I revere that. Having that is being rich, you can be generous about what’s shared—she walks, she talks, she laughs, she lends a sympathetic ear, she kicks of her shoes and dances on the tables, she’s everybody’s and it don’t mean a thing, let them eat cake; knowledge is something else, the undealt card, and while it’s held it makes you free-and-easy and nice to know, and when it’s gone everything is pain. Every single thing. Every object that meets the eye, a pencil, a tangerine, a travel poster. As if the physical world hs been wired up to pass a current back to the part of your brain where imagination glows like a filament in a lobe no bigger than a torch bulb. Pain.” —Tom Stoppard (The Real Thing)
Well the semester is starting to come to an end as well as people slowly leaving. Its seriously so heartbreaking it makes it hard to really focus on school work. Going on exchange is alot like falling in love with someone. You know going into that you could possibly get your heart broken by letting people in. However you take that risk because you know the feeling of being in love is so great. So these friendships Ive made are so great yet there is a bit of heartache knowing that its going to end soon. Not the friendships but just that presence of everyone slowly going back to their old lives. Naturally I’m still going to love everyone and stay in contact but its the not knowing when you’ll see them again that hurts. Im so grateful for all the people that have made me so incredibly happy. I wish everyone back home could get a chance to meet them however I know that is nearly impossible. *sigh*
Yesterday a few of us went to this Jazz Festival in a park in Hildesehim. It was so much fun, and one of those times where you just love your life. Sitting in the grass with beer and friends just listening to music. Its actually a three day festival and I found out my roommates band plays Monday. So I am defiantly going back and checking it out :-)